Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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