Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
