Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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