turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Can you bring me the toilet please
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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