people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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