Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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