I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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