Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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