at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
