How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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