does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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