Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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