you guys were way drunker than both of me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
