Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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