I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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