i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My ass is underappreciated
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
