i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Randomize
