The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
