we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
