i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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