apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
