Well apparently he's into motor boating.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
