I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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