i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
cat food counts as protein by the way
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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