you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
