If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
