you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
