So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
