I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she pinky promised me she was 18
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize