i barfeds in our rink
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
