I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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