Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
only if we run a train.
done.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
