I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
