what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
