Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
