I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
