Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
