just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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