I'm eating all of the evidence.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Randomize
