You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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