office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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