im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The ass gains better be worth it
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