there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
