I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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