he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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