Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
