we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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