Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
