I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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