Life is so much better after having sex.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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