READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
