i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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