i just made my gag reflex go away.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
