Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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