with your own penis?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
