I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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